Why Love Always Ends in Heartbreak

By Justine Wang on November 2, 2012

You’ve all heard it before. “All love ends in heartbreak.” Why? Because no matter what, eventually your lover will be separated from you either through death or break-up. And that’s the sad truth, folks.

But is that all there is to it? Just a fatalistic way of thinking about love? “Things will end and we will all learn to move on,” they declare. Upon deeper inspection, people are always so fixated on this idea of “endings” that they forget how to live and completely miss the joys of new beginnings. Believe me, I’m not a hopeless romantic: I don’t get giggly or ecstatic about passing sensations or believe we have soul mates. But love can feel like a crutch when your perception of death is that it’s permanent–something hard work can’t fix. But if you look more closely, life and renewal are actually happening everywhere.

When you experience a break-up, sure, it’s difficult and your heart is probably broken. You’ve been with that person so long that you have to rediscover your life without them. This is a renewal process disguised as the mourning period. You haven’t failed in life, and you aren’t doomed to have your heart broken forever, you are just rearranging your life for new seasons to come.  And despite the awful feeling, being upset and shaken is all part of the process. But lingering in the sadness forever is the equivalent of willingly becoming the living dead. And if you find a new lover somewhere down the road, there’s another new beginning to celebrate.

So how about an old married couple? They’ve been together forever, surely their love has run dry? Yet we applaud these people because deep down we know they put incredibly hard work into making their relationship thrive. Those are the keywords: “hard work” and “thrive.” They could have let their relationship die on several occasions—but they didn’t. Just because love runs dry, doesn’t mean it’s damaged beyond repair. Every conflict they hit, every obstacle that could have deprived them of life, they experienced together and made an effort to renew their bonds. If we acknowledged every moment a relationship is resolved and moves forward to higher ground as a resurrection, we would see that the amount of life that happens outweighs the one physical death each couple inevitably will experience.

No matter how many times your heart can break, it becomes stronger with each healing, so much so that death and endings seem trivial in comparison to the joys that come with revival, love and life.

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